


It Must Have Been Love, But It's Over Now

by welseykels



Series: Fallout 4: Charlotte Walsh [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-06-15
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7206716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welseykels/pseuds/welseykels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlotte makes the final decision about who she wants to spend her life with, Robert Joseph MacCready or Nick Valentine.</p><p>This changed a whole bunch of times as I wrote it and just let the writing take me where it would, but I think I'm happy with how it all turned out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Must Have Been Love, But It's Over Now

**Author's Note:**

> [Check out my writing masterpage on tumblr!](https://welseykels.tumblr.com/writing)

The guilt had been slowly eating away at her ever since Nick had kissed her.  Ever since she’d kissed him back.  She’d barely spoken to him after that as they’d gone back and forth across Maine, only told him that _that_ couldn’t happen again until she’d spoken with Mac.

And now here he was, before her with a smile a mile wide, Shaun and Duncan cuddled up to him on their couch as they read a comic together.   _Her three boys.  Her family.  If that’s what she wants_.

_What does she want again?_

Her throat is tight, she doesn’t want to have this conversation, but knows she has to.  He stands, telling the boys to keep going - _fuck Duncan looks just like him, all big blue eyes and sandy hair, it makes this harder than she thought it would be_.

“We -” He wipes the tears she hasn’t even realized falling from her eyes, brow furrowing when he’s no longer convinced they’re happy ones simply because she missed him.  “We need to talk, Robert.”

It’s then that his attention goes from her, only momentarily as she sees his jaw set.  “Hey boys, how about you go across the road and ask Mama Murphy to tell you both about the time she fought a Deathclaw?”  He doesn’t look at her again until their sons are gone, door closed behind them. “Somethin' happen in Far Harbour?”

All she can do was nod her head, not trusting her voice to not break on the words she needs out.

“Charlotte?”  She could barely see him with the way her vision blurs.  “Charlie?”  He closes the gap between them, hands on her arms pulling her flush to him, fear settling into his voice. “Charlie, what happened?”

She knows she has to tell him.  They’d found an old functioning cinema, Nick and her, and the old memories overwhelmed both of them.  They’d kissed.  Him initiating the first, she the second.  But there hadn’t been anymore, not until she'd spoken to the ex-mercenary she'd told she loved.

Conversations ground to a halt, words only exchanged about the troubles of the island.  Until the end, when they’d been on the boat going back to the Commonwealth - back home.  When she’d made up her mind and told him it would be best if he went back to Diamond City for the time being, that she did this alone.

She and MacCready had never solidified monogamy between them, but that was how Charlie was.  There had been Nick, then Nate, then MacCready.  Charlotte Hughes, later Walsh, only had had one lover at a time.  And that was what she wanted - one man that she loved who she loved back.

She’d once thought she’d have that with a young wannabe cop named Nicholas, but their work commitments had kept them apart, until it had been decided they were better as friends.  Then came Nate, but a bullet protect their son had stopped that.  She’d been promised a lifetime with him and she’d wanted a life with him more than anything - she still dreamed of it sometimes only to wake alone and in tears.  She’d been promised a life with him even underground, safe from what had become of the world.   _All lies_.

But she could have a second chance.  She just had to say this first and hope.

“I kissed Nick.” She closes her eyes and silently counts to ten, waiting for him to say something - anything.

Nothing happens, his hands stay still on her arms.

She peers her eyes open, finding his eyes wide, the corners of his mouth turning downward. She feels his touch leave her arms when their eyes meet.  “I thought we -”  He swallows, hands now balling into fists at his sides. “Fu - I - I guess this is it then.”

She grabs his arm before he can fully turn towards the door.  “No.”

“No?  Then what do you want from me?” There’s no anger in his voice, just… resignation.  Her heart breaks.

“Just you.”

He stands there for a moment, brow furrowed.  “You mean…?”

She nods again.  “I’m not sorry it happened. Nick and I needed to sort things out. The Nick I knew, the Nick I loved - it’s him and it’s not.” She breathes deeply, finding the words as she goes along. “I met you first - well, not really, but you know what I mean.  You were there when I saw who he is now.  If we hadn’t, I don’t know if we’d be having a different conversation right now.  I don’t.  But this is not it for us, unless you want.”

“Why me?  I mean, I’m not complaining, but -” His voice is barely above a whisper, fear laced on the edges.  “Why me?”

“I’ve went over why so many times. It’s silly, really.”

Rifle-callused fingers lifted her chin, bringing her eyes back to his before she’d even realized she’d been staring at the ground.  “It won’t be silly, Charlie.”

“On the way home, when I was driving the boat, I thought about growing old.  About watching the sunset in a little chair in the backyard, a little garden growing before me and the voices of people who felt safe and thrived in a community I helped build around me. And when I pictured who was sitting beside me… it was you.”

His hands are back on her, around her waist this time.  “Yeah?”

“I love you both.  I do.  I love you both and I still love my husband. But I love you, I do.”  She pulls him closer, hands digging into the material of his shirt.  She doesn’t intend to let go, she hopes he won’t either.

“Gee, just what every guy wants to hear his girl say.”

 _His girl_.

She rolls her eyes at the sarcasm and then catches his gaze once more. “I need you to know that I will always have feelings for Nick. Always. That's not going to change. But I want this family with you. I want you.” Her thumbs run across his cheeks, stroking in a rhythm that’s more for her comfort than his own.  “I love you.”

He backs her down the hallway towards their bedroom, hands running down her sides and under her shirt. “I love you too, pain in my a-.”

His words are cut off by her lips, hard and insistent.  She isn’t sure whether her cheeks are wet from his tears or her own as he starts to kiss her back.

They don’t quite make it to their bed.  They barely get their clothes off, she still in her unbuttoned shirt and his pants barely pushed down.  It’s hurried but still gentle, her back pressed into the rug on their floor, but she needs him inside her and he needs it just as much.  

They lie face to face after, breathing returning to normal as he runs his fingers idly down her side.  Her own brush along his cheek, the rasp of his stubble feeling like home on the pads of her fingers.

_This, this is what she wants. Just this._

They hear the front door open after she doesn't know how long and they help each other dress.  Their sons are home.


End file.
